The Missed Photograph

One morning, I saw one of the most gorgeous sunrises I've ever seen in my life. However, my thoughts were not of wonder and awe. Oh no. I flipped out because I didn't have my camera to take a picture of it.

Instead of just enjoying the sight before me, my need to have a picture of everything awesome I see in nature got the best of me yet again. I missed my chance at a great photograph. At the time, I usually carried around my camera wherever I went, just in case a sight like this made an appearance before me. If only I had not forgotten my camera on this day! Then I could take a picture of it...then....what?

After that day, I started wondering why a photo was necessary....and why I had such anxiety over not capturing that sunrise on film (or I guess a digitized file). I don't really look at photos after I take them. In fact, my panic at the thought that I wouldn't have the sunrise captured forever on photo brought to my attention that I take such scenes for granted.

I have found that cameras don't actually preserve memories of nature, but trivialize them. Had I had my camera on me that morning, I would have snapped a quick photo and went on my way. I would feel great that I can look at the picture later and enjoy it on my time. Screw nature's time.

Without my camera though, I am forced to appreciate the details of the scene. I have to use my senses in order to "capture" the moment. But, what happens if I still don't capture that moment? What if my memory is very, very terrible?

For instance, I don't really remember what that beautiful sunrise looks like. For a long time that really bothered me. I'm a little more okay with it now. I know that it was a unique moment, and I missed my chance to live in the moment and enjoy it.

Photographing nature also has a whole other added problem of dictating what nature is "beautiful" and what is not. I admit, sometimes the macro setting on a camera can give me an entirely new look on some aspects of nature. But what is left out of frame and why is that not the subject of the photo? A website lauding the importance of photography in bringing forth the unseen asks "what would we see without it?". What would we see indeed. 

I don't carry around my camera with me as much anymore.  Even when I take walks in the prairie, I have to tell myself to ditch the camera and make do with my own body. I would rather feel the moment with all of my senses than have a million pictures of beautiful sunrises and frost-covered trees preserved forever in a 2D sensory-lacking existence.

AM